The Pain Of Today... The Hope For Tomorrow!
The Pain Of Today… The Hope For Tomorrow…
Now that so many pieces of the puzzle were falling into place, society had some very difficult issues on its hands. Governments around the world would have to work very hard at regaining public trust in the area of vaccinations. No one doubted that vaccinations were necessary to help eliminate deadly disease outbreaks. Vaccinations, however, could be produced without mercury – and that had to start now!
In my opinion, discussions to make mandatory any shots containing thimerosal, had to be tabled until those vaccinations were made available safely – without mercury! Mercury was the second most toxic substance known to man – second only to uranium – and the fact that it could be given to children and adults, basically, unregulated spoke volumes! The government and the pharmaceuticals had made a grave error and now, that error had to be addressed and corrected! This was no longer a “republican” or “democrat” issue. This issue spanned all party lines, all borders, all nations! Unfortunately the more time wasted in trying to hide the facts, the worse this situation could only become. There were now too many parents and too many scientists working these issues to stop the truth from coming out.
There would undoubtedly be a great deal of pain felt on many fronts – not only by parents, but by government and, yes, perhaps even pharmaceutical executives as well who may have unknowingly contributed to this devastation of children worldwide. To understand each and every piece of the autism puzzle was a huge task indeed. Executives were usually “generalists” not “specialists” and in issues of autism, one needed to be a “specialist” in so many areas! The simple fact was that once something was done in a specific manner for decades, there was a perception that “things were fine and as such, why make any changes?”. For decades we had seen diseases eradicated – almost completely eliminated. It was only when they began to resurface as outbreaks that “red flags” started to “go off” in the minds of scientists and parents alike. The accumulation of mercury in the human system, and the likely lesions between the central and peripheral nervous systems it appeared to cause, could certainly explain why “resistance” to so many illnesses seemed to be occurring on so many fronts and why so many people were sick in spite of being vaccinated for the very illnesses they were suffering from.
It had been so easy to focus on the “good” of vaccinations that they were mass produced and given in more “compressed” time periods so that infants were now getting close to 21 immunizations. With diseases apparently being eradicated from the face of the earth and profits higher than ever in the pharmaceutical industry, it surely, had been easy to focus on the “good” and turn the other way in the face of any “negative”. In our zeal to control disease I feared we had damaged our children in ways unimaginable to even the best of scientists and government officials working on disease eradication. Even persons with the best of intentions now found themselves in a very, very nasty predicament.
In looking at all this, surely, not all involved were “guilty” of willfully injuring children for profits. I believed some may have been, but, in my heart, I believed the majority of those involved in this predicament found themselves within the storm before even realizing it was on the radar!
The once glorious partnership of the government and the pharmaceutical industry was about to make a sharp about face as each side prepared to battle the coming storm, fueled by the fury of parents! Had there been negligence? In my opinion, the answer to that question – was yes! Someone should have caught the fact that we were injecting all this mercury into our children a long time ago… that we were giving them levels of a toxin much, much greater than what was considered safe by our government agencies. Should someone in the pharmaceutical industry have caught this? Again, the answer was – obviously, yes! The reality of life, however, was that all too often, scientists worked on one vaccine or perhaps a few and in their focus and zeal to eradicate “their opponent”, they failed to see how the parts came together to form the whole! Why had the government not caught this as it prepared its immunization schedules? The government dictated “safe levels” of mercury, yet the CDC did not seem to have an understanding of those “safe levels”. Was this simply a matter of “miscommunication” between huge government agencies? Perhaps – but maybe not! Anyone seeing these issues from within the confines of the government would surely be “encouraged” not to say anything. These were, after all, issues of national and international security. But now, too many parents and professionals had been awakened to these issues… and in matters of national security, protecting our children - for all voters - came first and foremost for a nation without healthy and functioning children - can not survive!
Children are the world’s most valuable resource and its best hope for the future. John F. Kennedy
How true the words of a President – the words of a father!
What had we done to our children!!!
The challenges facing this nation and the world would now be the truest test of its people. We had united against terrorism and the death of 3,000+ at the hands of terrorists. The unity we now needed as a nation - as a world - to resolve and overcome these issues, would be our greatest test yet – of that, I was sure!
The issue of autism now touched all aspects of society. This was no longer simply an issue of “autism”. There were many other diagnoses that could now, very much, be explained by vaccination related issues. In the autistic, there were issues with digestion (i.e., diabetes), the immune system, sensory integration, motor activity and memories associated with those activities, emotions and the control of emotions, goal directed activity, and so much more. Any person with disorders in personality, self-image, control of emotion, depression, immune system problems, motor functioning issues, speech issues, etc., could now also potentially, be persons who had suffered in some way from vaccine injury.
No government or industry could possibly fund all that would be necessary to help societies, worldwide, get back on track in issues of disease control while caring for those potentially injured by vaccinations. The victims, I now realized, were more than simply the children of autism. Victims, potentially, could involve those facing countless diseases, and those, not themselves injured physically, but, perhaps emotionally as they came to the realization that something had gone horribly wrong – and as much as parents hated to admit that – autism had created innocent victims in both government and pharmaceutical agencies as well. In my heart, I simply could not believe that all this harm could have been done – willingly! I knew money was a very powerful motivator and for those for whom money had been a factor, yes, I believed in all my heart that they belonged in jail – as did those who tried to hide these issues from the public. The potential devastation to so many children and to the world in terms of what this could do to “disease control” was overwhelming indeed. It was too much to take in for any individual. Overcoming these issues, especially issues of trust, would require the cooperation of governments and of parents worldwide.
As the mother of an autistic son, I now looked at autism in a new light. As I looked at my son, playing beside me, the problems of “the world” drifted into the distance and now problems of “autism” had landed squarely in my living room - again. “Autism”, more strongly than ever, came back to haunt me – personally! Governments of the world would have to work “global” issues as they related to vaccinations. I, however, had to once again focus on my son – my family – as I believed all parents of the autistic had to do! Yes, there had to be inquiries into all of these issues but I also knew those inquiries could take years and I did not have years to wait. Saving Zachary would require all of my energies, all of my focus.
Understanding my son’s issues was the first step in my overcoming those issues and now, although the battles for society raged on many fronts, as a mother, my battle with autism had become even more personal. I was more determined then ever in “saving Zachary”.
All the anger I had so painfully felt as I had lived with autism and learned more and more about autism each day – I knew I had to let go! Anger would do nothing to save my son… to help him cope with life given his current situation. As I went over “brain structures and functions” in my own mind, I thought constantly of what I could best do to help Zachary. I could build on areas of strength, but there were definitely huge areas of concern for me – as a parent! If my theory was correct, as I now so painfully suspected it was, there was a great deal of work to be done. Although Zachary had come a long way, there were, potentially, huge hurdles still ahead.
The possibility that Zachary could one day commit a crime and perhaps not even remember it weighed heavily on my mind. The difficult issue of possible future crime in the life of any autistic child was a difficult topic to address as a parent. As much as I did not want to believe this could be true of my son, the reality of life was, that given what I now thought to understand in terms of how I truly believed the autistic brain functioned, I had to address this issue specifically, not only for parents of the autistic, but for all parents – worldwide!
The increasing statistics in terms of the autism epidemic necessitated that discussions include this very difficult subject. I encouraged all readers to read this example for the information it provided – as difficult as I knew this would be! I knew that the entire autism parent community and indeed, the government and pharmaceutical industry as well, would be very upset at the very fact that I would even suggest anything like this, but, my concern truly was for these children, because if I were correct, and there was indication to believe I was, then, denying these painful issues would do nothing to help address them.
As such, this issue had to be brought to the forefront, discussed and researched – not from an emotional view – but from one based on those issues presented. I was just as pained as any other parent of an autistic child in having to come to this realization – and, perhaps, moreso – because I had to be the one to deliver this very, very painful message, a message horribly painful to all parents of the autistic, and to society, overall, as well! Truly, it would have been much easier for me to simply “pretend” this issue did not exist – and I hoped all parents and government officials would understand that as they read through this very difficult section!
Before getting into this example, let me once again state that I was in no way saying that the majority of autistic children would be led down a path leading to a life of crime. Today, there was more hope than ever for recovery of these children. What I was saying, however, was that, the possibility of a life involving crime – the potential (n my opinion) – could be there!
Nonetheless, given the potential consequences of “this theory” being correct in view of the many, many things it seemed to explain in autism, I felt this issue had to be raised as soon as possible because even 1% of 2 million autistic children was still 20,000 boys!
As parents of the autistic, and as society overall, however, even if only 1% acted in a way that could lead to serious problems down the line in terms of crime, that was still too many children. And, as such, as adults, it was now time to address what could be very difficult issues, if indeed, my theory was correct. I asked all parents to keep these important points in mind in reading this section… this was simply a theory examining “a potential” issue.
I wanted to provide for all readers a very serious representation of what I believed could be happening in the autistic mind, if my theory was correct and communication between the various parts of the brain had indeed been impaired. I could have used a simple example of shoplifting, but, truly, the best example of what could happen in these children was better exemplified with a more extreme example. As such, I decided to provide for readers my interpretation of what could happen in the case of a very poignant example – rape!
According to the US Justice Department, a woman is raped every 2 minutes in the US, as of 2001 figures. That meant 30 every hour or 720 every day. Thus, over one quarter million women in the US alone would be raped each year! Of these “women”, it was estimated believed 1 in 2 was under 18, and 1 in 6 was under the age of 12. That would translate to approximately 125,000 girls under the age of 18, and close to 42,000 young girls under the age of 12.
Given I now believed the human brain was not working properly in persons injured by mercury, and that neural connectivity was either inadequate or missing almost completely, we will now take a look at what could happen in the case of rape involving a person suffering from such an injury to the brain. I will use the example of an autistic male – although as stated earlier, this could be true of any person with such neural dysfunction – of anyone who unable to properly control emotions, of anyone with personality dysfunction disorders, of anyone who suffered mercury poisoning.
Note: Vaccines and dental fillings were believed to be the two biggest causes of mercury poisoning in the general population, and, as such, anyone who had received vaccines or silver dental fillings, could potentially be used in this example. I used the autistic male because, as with so much I now came to see, the autistic child could best help man understand “what can happen” when things were not working exactly as they should because of mercury poisoning. Undoubtedly, there were many, many “labels” or “diagnoses” that could also have been used in this example. For society to assume that this was simply an issue for the autistic would be a grave error in assumption indeed!
Let us now look at the example of rape – specifically.
Sexual interest functionality was located in the temporal lobe. Thus as the autistic male or mercury injured male matured and his interests in sex awakened, he would undoubtedly begin to notice women. Indeed, within the temporal lobe, there did exist visual perception. As that perception occurred, an emotion would also occur and undoubtedly trigger the “interest” in sexual activity (also in the temporal lobe). The ability to control emotions, however, resided in the frontal lobe, as did memory related to habits and other motor activities. What would happen, from a sensory processing perspective if an autistic male or mercury injured male acted upon his interest in sex and actually raped a woman based on the fact that although he experienced a strong emotion – the emotion of desire for sex (in temporal lobe) – he had been unable to control that emotion (frontal lobe) because of the lack of communication between these two areas?
If my theory were true, then, the act of raping a woman would have now created another emotion, satisfaction, and committed that emotion to memory since both emotion and memory associated with that emotion were in the temporal lobe. Yet, given that damage to the temporal lobe could result in both short term and long term memory being impacted, then, there may be inaccurate, incomplete or completely omitted information in the autistic male or mercury injured male’s memory in terms of what had happened.
The ability to form “new memories” resided in the hippocampus (part of the limbic system). Given the fact that memory as it related to emotions were in the temporal lobe but memory as it related to motor habits and other motor activities and actual motor planning and execution resided in the frontal lobe, this could make for a very, very nasty situation! Motor planning and execution could be acting completely independent of emotion and memories tied to those emotions!
In other words, the autistic male or mercury injured male could continue to act out (motor function) the same behavior (rape), be unable to control his emotion (frontal lobe) in relation to that rape due to the fact that the emotion of satisfaction and the memory associated with that satisfaction resided in the temporal lobe and possibly the parietal lobe as well (somatosensory processing). The fact that increased aggression resided in the temporal lobe (along with the emotion of satisfaction and short and long term memory) and that somatosensory processing and the sensation of touch were in the parietal lobe simply made matters worse! This could also lead to more violent crimes over time. Furthermore, given the fact that auditory relays were in the midbrain, and that meaning assigned to words resided in the frontal lobe, the screams of a woman would simply not “be heard” or “understood” – the “deaf child of autism”, the “attention deficit individual” could now, potentially be - “the deaf rapist”!
Interestingly, it was believed the ability to distinguish between the truth and a lie was also located within the temporal lobe. The concept of “self” was in the frontal lobe, whereas emotion and memories associated with emotions were in the temporal lobe.
As result of injuries to the brain and the fact that there was possibly no communication or incomplete communication among the various parts of the brain, yet, magnified communication and functionality within a specific area of the brain, the autistic male, or mercury injured male would – literally – have no control over the situation!
Below, was information taken from U.S. Department of Justice Office of Justice Programs
Bureau of Justice Statistics, National Conference on Sex Offender Registries, Proceedings of a BJS/SEARCH conference, April 1998, NCJ-168965. This information, I obtained from the following website: http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/bjs/pub/ascii/ncsor.txt. At that conference, this had been presented as the profile of a sex offender – I quote:
“The offender is likely to be a white male between the ages of
25 to 35 years old; very low self-image; likely to have
committed a similar crime in the past; may have some physical
deformity; and is likely to have had a recent stressful event in
his life which would have precipitated the high-risk approach
taken in this crime. The high-risk approach also indicates the
offender may have attempted similar acts recently and failed.
The offender is likely to be in an unskilled or semi-skilled job
that does not include contact with the public. Persons who know
the offender would likely notice heightened anxiety on the
offender's part since the crime occurred.”
Unfortunately, if mercury indeed did cause neural degeneration, any male who had suffered injury to his brain as a result of vaccinations, mercury fillings or any other source of mercury based on how I believed the autistic brain to work, fit this profile almost completely! I knew parents of all male children – autistic or not - would be very upset at my saying this, but, again, denying what could be a very serious issue, would do nothing to address this issue if my theory were correct. Furthermore, this was not simply a “children’s issue”. Mercury was also found in flu shots given to adults. The issue of mercury-induced brain damage was a serious issue for all members of society – not only those currently diagnosed as autistic.
I asked all parents and all members of society to truly “take a step back” and consider the above without the interference of emotions (as difficult as I knew this would be) – to simply look at the “coincidences” between the autistic male or any male suffering from personality disorders, self image disorders, or disorders relating to the control of emotions and the above profile. There was no denying that persons suffering from issues with the concept of self, with self image, with the control of one’s emotions, etc. were all candidates for the above profile!
As the mother of an autistic boy myself, this realization had been very, very painful for me – but there was no denying it based on what I now understood in my own son and the fact that my theory on the workings of the autistic or mercury-injured brain explained almost everything we saw in autistic children and indeed, in many personality disorders and emotional disorders as well. It was this that parents and societies had to keep in mind.
No parent – including myself – wanted to admit this could be true, but this certainly was a highly probable case for anyone who had suffered from possible mercury-induced brain damage. In addition, readers will see that persons undergoing anesthesia were also very much at risk of having such issues (more on that later). As such, again, this simply was not an issue “just for the autistic”. Autism only provided a “window” into what mercury induced brain damage, and perhaps, anesthesia as well, could do to the human brain.
Jobs for the autistic had often been identified as “assembly type work” (as in the above profile) – although given the understanding of the skills within these children, their potential, once encouraged, could make them among some of the most highly productive and contributing members of society in areas of mathematics, engineering, computer science, etc.
I had stated throughout this document that Zachary’s life, indeed, that of autistic children, in general, was one of frustration. There were simply “too many coincidences” not to take this issue of brain lesions very, very seriously! Could any parent – truly - simply ignore these “coincidences”? Would “simply waiting” to see if this materialized be the answer? That was a risk, as a mother, I was not willing to take.
I certainly hoped all women and men around the world now understood exactly how critical it was to get to the bottom of this issue in terms of the possible autism-vaccination link… and that if my theory was correct, how critical it would be to get all these children, as well as all children displaying issues in controlling emotions, children with self esteem or self image issues into therapy as soon as possible in order to prevent not only serious consequences to them, but to women, and indeed - little boys and girls - around the world as well! Appropriate socialization, for these children was now more critical than ever!
In my opinion, reinforcing the sense of self-worth was critical to these children. If anything, the fact that autistic children had “violent outbursts” and then “it was over” made them perhaps less vulnerable to having a life involving crime than would perhaps be the case with children who “kept it all in”. Because autistic children had a very “magnified set of emotions”, I believed they would also have a very magnified sense of “right verses wrong” and that was truly a saving grace for the autistic. I would be much more worried about children who were more “borderline” or who had only suffered “less damage” but yet had emotion control issues. We now had close to 2 million children in the US on Ritalin for attention deficit – the mildest form of autism. We had countless more in jails and mental institutions for aggressive behavior or self-injurious behaviors (i.e., cutting, attempted suicide, etc.).
To those who would argue that we were simply “better” at identifying problem children than we had been in the past, or that everything we were now seeing was “simply normal” behavior in rebellious adolescents and preteens, I suggested you pull your worthless degrees off the wall and get a reality check by leaving the confines of academia and walking the halls of juvenile detention centers and psychiatric wards to look at the young faces to be found in these facilities. You could then compare those “statistics” to population statistics of years ago… do a little “regression analysis”… and see that the numbers simply did not add up! Although I personally had ten years of university, common sense alone, would tell you that if the population was decreasing as it had, you should not be seeing increasing numbers of children in such facilities – not to the extent that we saw them today! This was not “normal” and anyone who tried to say it was truly was out of touch with reality! Families used to be much larger – now, they only had on average, approximately 2 children. I had been raised in a family of ten children. As I was growing up, more common were families with 4 children… yet, today we had on average 2 children, and more than ever, we had children in such detention facilities. Something – truly – was not right and it was time society awakened to that fact! How else could you explain more than 2 million children on Ritalin in the US? Had we simply “missed” the fact that there were that many children like this in the past and no one “saw it”? Had the genetics of one generation become so bad that we now had all these “hyper children”? I hardly believed that to be the case. Parents were not the worst parents ever. Those who had children today had often gone through painstaking planning to have those children – and they made sure those children received the best medical care possible – usually never missing appointments for vaccinations and wellness checks. I doubt the same could be said of all the children born to previous generations. These children were not simply “hyper children” or children that were “oppositional-defiant” (the latest buzz word) – these were children, whom I believed had been very, very failed by “the system” overall – first via its unchecked vaccination programs and then by its educational, medical and recovery institutions as well.
What had we done to our children? – Indeed!
When we could no longer “explain” what we saw in our children, we simply came up with “another negative label”, putting the blame on the children who were already very, very misunderstood, rather than putting the blame where it rightfully belonged – on the adult perpetrators of this injustice.
America, and other countries had some very serious issues on their hands – from both a moral and safety perspective.
If indeed some of the criminals in our justice systems indeed suffered from autism or mercury-induced brain damage and had committed violent crimes, could their shackles be removed also from what could be learned from autism? Unfortunately, based on what I now believed to understand of the mercury-damaged brain that had crossed over into a life of crime, the answer to that question was a resounding “No”!
These individuals, indeed, would be in need of therapy, however, given what I had believed to come to understand of the workings of the mercury-induced damaged brain, to release these prisoners would only further jeopardize society given the magnification of memory/emotion issue and the possible inability to actually remember having done something. If I were correct, these persons, having been unable to control their emotions and actions in the past, would be unlikely to be able to do so in the future. Of course, I was no therapist, but, I was concerned given the memory/emotion factor and the fact that “control of emotion” resided elsewhere. The “magnification” effect within specific parts of the brain in terms of emotions/memory, in my view, was a very, very serious issue in that each offense would only lead to greater gratification and no control over that emotion. The danger to society, in removing the shackles of anyone in the criminal justice system found to be mercury injured – especially if that person had been involved in a violent crime - were overwhelming! In my “non-therapist”, “non-behaviorist”, “non-medical” opinion, these offenders would only continue to commit such crimes, at an increasing rate, potentially with increasing violence each time, based on what I believed to understand of the workings of the mercury damaged brain. As such, as painful as this realization was, there simply was no way to ever set these criminals free!
The only shackles to be removed had to be those of autistic children and others in society who had suffered possible mercury induced brain damage - those who could still very much be helped with intervention and who had not committed violent crimes.
Finding the true criminals – those responsible mercury induced brain lesions - and stopping all mercury-induced brain damage along with the autism epidemic would be the only way to even begin pushing back the tides of this hurricane that now raged on so many fronts and on so many shores!
I had once very much been in favor of the death penalty. Given what I now believed to understand about the workings of the human brain, I now had serious reservations when it came to this issue! I was certainly NOT saying that all sex offenders were autistic or mercury-induced brain damaged. That surely was not true!
I knew this issue could cause serious emotional distress to all families who had been so victimized by the most terrible of crimes. My heart truly went out to these families as well as to all families of the autistic and of those who may have been victimized by mercury damage as a result of vaccinations and/or dental fillings – especially given the fact that all this was but a theory. These issues, however simply had to be raised. The autism epidemic and the epidemic of young children in criminal and psychiatric detention facilities necessitated that these issues be raised!
In beginning of my journey with autism, I knew not where it would lead me. Now, given my concern for my own son in regards to this issue and his magnified emotions I already saw in him – as a child – the thought of what could happen to him in the future was absolutely devastating to me as a parent. What was I supposed to do in regards to this issue? Not raise it and hope it went away? We all knew that it would not!
The statistics from the US Department of Justice clearly indicated the huge increase in death row inmates. By year-end 2000, there were 3,593 prisoners on death row. We now had 2 million plus autistic children in the US alone. If I was correct in my theory, how many of these children would end up on death row, too? Even if 1% acted on their increased aggression, that could still end up sending 20,000 young men to jail or to death row – and how many more innocent victims would there be – the numbers could truly be overwhelming! And these were only numbers “for autism”… what about all those “other illnesses” that had to do with personality disorders, lack of emotional control, etc. Given the “magnification” effect on the emotions of these children, and the increased aggression associated with possible temporal lobe damage, in my view, this issue was so serious that it absolutely had to be raised – as painful as it was to do so! If I was correct, early intervention was the best way to recover these children and adults and truly make them valued and productive members of society as opposed to social outcasts.
Although I personally had only limited experience with “other illnesses” as they related to personality disorders or the inability to control one’s emotions, as far as autistic children themselves were concerned, I knew that the fact that these children were so determined to “break the code” and get out of their world – to understand the real world – was truly a testimony to their cry for help and willingness to be helped – to the fact that they wanted to have a meaningful life and be part of society, too!
I was not saying the people on death row had not committed their crimes. Obviously they did. But, the thought of my child, or any mercury-damaged child ending up on death row given what I now believed I understood in terms of a mercury damaged brain, was an issue I simply could not remain silent about – not for the sake of my own son nor that of every other autistic child or mercury damaged child/adult out there! These persons needed therapy and they needed it now.
I knew the majority of Americans supported the death penalty… as I once had. Given what I now believed to understand, as I looked at my own son, the thought of what could lay ahead for him pained me to the very deepest of my being.
Surely, families who had so been devastated by those currently on death row had to understand the concern for my son, and all autistic children in this regard, and truly, for all children and all women. Raising this issue now, was the only way to begin addressing it! I knew, I myself, could get death threats for raising this issue – but, what was I supposed to do? This theory of total sensory integration, processing and relay failure seemed to completely explain everything in not only my son but, autistic children in general and it could certainly explain behaviors in many other disorders, too. I had identified an issue that, very potentially, could totally destroy not only my son but many other children in later life – what was I supposed to do? I cried deeply as I wrote this section, knowing fully well the emotions it would ignite, but was I supposed to sit by and do nothing? Should I not have tried to warn parents of what could be huge issues for their children down the road? Should I not have tried to warn society? What would any of you have done had you been in my situation – had you come to understand these issues as I did? Hating or killing the messenger would do nothing to kill the issue! I preferred dying myself, the most horrible death possible, than seeing my son or any other child on death row for something, I believed, they very possibly could have no control over given what I now believed to understand of the workings of the autistic or mercury damaged brain! What was I supposed to do?
I did not want to see criminals go free – nor did I believe they could be set free - but neither did I want to sweep under the carpet an issue that could destroy countless children. There was no avoiding this issue. Each year the numbers on death row increased. The explosion in autism statistics had now reached epidemic proportions. Boys were four times more impacted by autism than were girls. We had more children in jails and psychiatric wards than ever. This issue would not go away – of that – I was certain!
So, what was I supposed to do?
Directing anger in my direction would do nothing to address this very painful issue. I had only been the very unfortunate person to deliver a very, very painful message. Killing the messenger would not change these issues… not now… and certainly not in the future! How could I possibly remain silent given all the children who now had autism? How much devastation would be enough before government and societies around the world finally acted? For me, there would be, a great deal of hatred and misplaced anger on many fronts… the government, the pharmaceuticals, parents, generally, and now – also – parents of the autistic as well. Perhaps all would have preferred for these issues had never been raised, but, morally, in my heart, I simply could not pretend everything was fine – not in knowing the potential harm ahead for so many children! I preferred the wrath of parents, industry and government leaders to the devastation of completely innocent children. Writing this document had not, by any means, been an easy thing for me to do – I cried constantly knowing its potential impact - and I hoped all readers understood that. But, in my heart, the children, so often children with no voice - had to come first!
Being the parent of an autistic child, at so many turns, was like having a knife driven into your chest and twisted… only recovering from one wound long enough to have another painful stab inflicted! Could society not finally understand this? So many of us had lost our children… so many were still in their own world. Some of us had finally been fortunate enough to see a ray of hope in recovering our children to give them some kind of a meaningful life. Would society now ignore our pleas again, and let these children fall down a path that could be so detrimental, so painful, to so many! Would you fail to act again, only to steal our children from us – again - and possibly later send these children we had worked so hard to recover – to death row! Surely that pain would be too great for too many parents to endure! How much pain… how much anger… how much devastation… and how much suffering would the government allow before these issues relating to vaccinations and, mercury overall, were finally addressed?
The world issues of autism had once again landed squarely in my living room.
Certainly, I could be afraid for my life given the impact of this document… but, as a mother, I was more afraid for the future of a 5-year-old boy and so many others just like him. I had not caused my child to be autistic. If vaccinations had, then, the real criminals had to be brought to justice in the future – not my son! I was not a criminal - and currently - neither was my 5 year-old boy, but I had very deep concerns for his future – as should all parents of the autistic be concerned for the future of their children in regards to this issue! Indeed, anyone undergoing any procedure involving mercury – be that from a vaccination or from a dental filling – should be very concerned about the effects of mercury on the brain.
Zachary on August 12, 2002 - his 5th birthday!
This little boy I had worked so hard to pull out of his own world - a little boy who now was finally enjoying life - could once again be stolen from me, and perhaps, even put on death row for something I now believed in my heart he may not understand! Could any person not the parent of an autistic child possibly understand the very intense emotions this could create within parents of the autistic – within any parent who now suspected their child may have suffered from mercury-induced brain damage?
For Zachary to have a real birthday cake, something that actually tasted good, he would have to suffer a natural opiate (drug) effect because a real birthday cake literally acted like a drug on his brain! Most of what he ate had to be special ordered. Almost 98% of things in a “normal grocery store”, he could not eat due to the natural opiate effect of casein and gluten (milk and grain proteins). Most fruits and vegetables, he could not eat. His diet consisted of chicken, rice and potato products, primarily, a banana or apple only rarely… one egg only every 3 days, along with special bacon or sausages. I now drove 5 hours one-way once a year to buy him special meats that had no preservatives or gluten in them. Everywhere I went, every trip I took involved packing absolutely all his foods… right down to the salt and pepper since gluten was sprayed on everything to stop even spices from sticking. Many autistic children were impacted by casein and gluten at molecular level and so, Zachary’s foods were very, very specialized... and very, very expensive.
Since realizing Zachary was autistic, my entire life had been painfully poured into this child… we had finally become mother and child again… the pain of possibly losing him in the future to death row or a life in prison, or to a psychiatric ward, I knew I could never bear - neither did I suspect could millions of other parents of the autistic bear losing their children! Countless families had poured not only their lives, but, their finances as well into their children. The risk to so many autistic children, to any mercury damaged children and to future families who could possibly be devastated also, as a result of the actions of brain- injured persons, was something I could not be silent on.
The more I wrote on the subject of autism, the more I truly came to see that it simply impacted all aspects of life – worldwide!
I completely understood the fact that many persons, as a result of this book, would perhaps now want to stop all death penalties or that some criminals could try to use this as an excuse in saying “they knew not what they had done”. I was well aware of all these very, very painful issues. But, the fact was, the statistics in terms of the numbers of the autistic had exploded to epidemic proportions as had the numbers of children in detention facilities, both psychiatric and criminal. The impacts of this book, I knew, would be devastating to more than just parents of the autistic.
Research would now have to take on new dimensions in order to truly identify those who suffered from potential vaccine or mercury injury. MRI scans of physical structures within the brain had indeed proven there existed physical differences between normal brains and those of the autistic. Now, perhaps we simply understood a little more why that was.
For society, autism could be a great source of knowledge, but I feared it could also be a great source of sadness, too! And parents, once again, would feel that painful, twisting knife in their chest at the very thought of the “dark possibilities” that may lay ahead for their child! :o(
Adults – everywhere - now had to address very serious issues, on many fronts – all at once! As difficult as the road for the families of the autistic had been, I believed the road for society, overall, had also become a very challenging one as a result of this issue of ever increasing rates of autism, the possible autism-vaccination link, and the possibility of many in society being brain injured as a result of vaccinations.
If I were correct in issues of the autistic and sexuality, as I believed I was, my heart was very pained by the fact that a child, himself, so devastated already, could later so completely devastate the children of others as well! :o( :o( :o(
Having an autistic son, I could not - even begin - to express how heavily this issue weighed on my heart!
Society had failed to hear the cries of parents of the autistic in the past – how long would you continue to do so? Would you now, - for the safety of all women and children worldwide - finally hear those cries?
Perhaps now, we could finally begin to understand why children today just seemed “so much more aggressive” in understanding that temporal lobe damage was associated with increased aggression. Safety - in view of the autistic child - was no longer an issue for the autistic child alone, it was now an issue for all persons who subjected themselves to vaccinations or silver dental fillings.
At no time in history did we have as many kidnappings, sexual assaults and murders involving children, or so many atrocious and mass murders, but I feared we were perhaps now seeing only - the tip of the iceberg! Unless steps were taken to steer away from that iceberg – immediately – as it had been the case with the unsinkable Titanic - there would be many, many victims – and the devastation of this iceberg had the potential - like the disorder of autism or mercury induced brain damage itself - to greatly magnify the situation!
Society simply never understood how anyone could possibly commit such heinous crimes as we now saw today. If my theory were correct, it could very well be that the criminals themselves, if brain damaged, failed to understand it, too!
Based on brain structure and function, I knew these children could be helped. Understanding these children and allowing them to have fuller lives, and the attention they deserved so that they did not become social outcasts, but rather, were viewed as valuable members of society, could do a great deal in allowing these children to become functioning, valuable and productive members of society. I had no doubt about that. There was hope for tomorrow. Understanding the issues was the first step in addressing them.
The burden on the autistic brain and how to work around its potential limitations to help recover these children would now be addressed.
The parents of the autistic had long cried for help. If society now saw how it too was so impacted by these issues, perhaps now - the world - would listen!